celebrity writers

Coping with Bullies

Tips for Parents and Children to Overcome Bullying

Sep 28, 2008

Kids Can Learn to Overcome Bullying, Luis Alberto Garcia

No one should have to put up with bullying. Know the warning signs of a child being bullied and learn how parents and children can tackle the problem.

It’s a sad fact that bullying takes place regularly in school compounds and playgrounds. Bullying.org, a non-profit website dedicated to helping people dealing with issues involving bullying and taunting, reveals that bullying occurs every seven minutes in school playgrounds and once every 25 minutes in class. Fortunately, bullies and bullying can often be thwarted. Parents can watch out for warning signs of their children being bullied and take measures to prevent further bullying.

Warning Signs

The following are tell-tale signs of a child being a victim of bullies:

Unexplained bruises, scratches and cuts on the body
Damage to clothes and other belongings
Fear of going to school
Crying before and/or after school
Difficulty sleeping
Sickness such as stomach pain, diarrhea and headache
Lack of appetite and weight loss
Bed-wetting
Depression and anxiety
School grades dropping and incomplete school work
Having few friends and anti-social behavior
Refusal to say what is wrong

What Parents Can Do

Bullying is unacceptable and parents need to be actively involved to ensure that the issue is handled properly. Parents who suspect their child is being bullied at school should prepare a report with details of what the child endures – what (verbal or physical bullying), where, when and how often it happens – before approaching the school administration and inquiring about school policies on bullying. Be prepared to have a series of meetings with school officials and counselors to jointly work out the best plan to resolve the issue.

Concerned parents should also try working as volunteers at their child’s school. By being at the school physically on a regular basis, parents can see for themselves how their child interact with other children. Observe if another child is bullying your child and other children. Report any bullying incidents to the school.

School size is often an issue as well. The bigger it is, the higher the chances of bullying taking place. So avoid schools with big populations. Steve Biddulph, author of The Secret of Happy Children [Da Capo Press, 2002], believes that the ideal and caring elementary school should not have more than 400 students. “Anything larger will often become an inefficient education ‘factory’. Kids may join gangs for self-protection, and bullying will be a natural side-effect of this,” he says.

What Kids Can Do

Parents should also teach their children to handle bullies and bullying. Here are some useful tips:

Ignore the taunting and walk away. Calmly withdraw from the situation.
Do not fight back. It will only worsen the problem.
Frequent only places where there are teachers nearby.
Avoid places where the bullies usually are.
Walk in groups and hang out with children with similar interests.
Look out for other children being harassed. Report any bullying incident to the school.
Do not bring expensive things or too much money to school. These are targets for school bullies.
Be confident. Put your head up and walk with your shoulders straight. Bullies usually pick on kids who appear scared, weak and unsure of themselves.

All children will experience some form of bullying from time to time. But if parents know what to do and help their children acquire some assertive skills, the bullying will eventually come to an end.

Reference:

Ken Rigby. Bullying in Schools and What to Do about It. Canberra: ACER, 1996.

The copyright of the article Coping with Bullies in Bullying is owned by Wei Yin Wong. Permission to republish Coping with Bullies in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.